No, this is not a “everything you need to know” post about dog poo. It’s a ‘dog poo is annoying’ post – and heel veel Dutch people agree.
Where we used to live in Zoetermeer there was a children’s playground two minutes from home, a place that my son naturally loved to visit. However, whilst i enjoyed watching my toddler have fun, I was less keen on the rituals we had when we came back from the park – namely wiping the hondenpoep from our shoes.
The Hondenpoep Ritual
At the front door we’d do a shoe check, followed by a pram wheel check – that’s at least four feet and four wheels. (And by the time I had three sons you can imagine how long this ritual took). The result of the examination usually led to profanities (from me) and calls of “dog poo, dog poo” (from my sons), followed by “project scrape and wash”.
If it’s Green it’s a Dog Toilet
Hondenpoep. To you and me, that’s dog poo. If the ground is green then it is adopted as a dog toilet. Even if the patch of grass is adorned quite clearly with signs forbidding dogs, it still ends up as a doggie bathroom.
Now, I am not talking about the odd pile to manoeuvre around. In my local park it was truly a dog poo obstacle course that only military trained personnel can complete without incident.
Dog Poo is a Top Irritation
It’s one of the top irritations for the Dutch – type hondenpoep irritatie into Google and you’ll see just how widespread the annoyance is in big Dutch towns and cities. It comes in the top 3 every time an ‘irritation survey’ is done, and it’s certainly not just those who don’t own a dog who are fed up of poo on their shoes every time they come home from a walk.
We actually mailed a complaint to our local council, believing quite strongly that slides, swings and dog poo are not an ideal combination. Within a day or two, we had a card posted through our door from the wijkpost, telling us quite clearly that they are fully aware that there are dog poo issues locally. The park we had highlighted would be added to the ‘dog poo patrol’ round.
Furthermore, the card informed us, dogs may only foul in the bushes, not on paths and grass areas (good to know next time i am rummaging in the bushes for my son’s football), but dog owners are obliged to pick up after their dogs should they foul anywhere outside of the bushes.
Dog Owner Fines
Dog owners are subject to a 140 euro fine if they fail to remove the offending pile immediately and dispose of it in a considerate manner. There’s a fine of 90 euro for not having bags on you to dispose of the poop. Presumably the assumption is that if you have no bags on you you have no intention of clearing the crap up.
The note ended with “Unfortunately, we can’t be everywhere at the right moment, but the dog poo nuisance will certainly become less of a problem when dog owners see us patrolling daily”.
Ok. I did not hold my breath (unless I am in the bushes on ball fetching duty again) and I certainly failed to meet anyone from the poo patrol at any time! (I wonder what a dog poo patrol wears!).
Less Poo if You Live Out in the Sticks
We now live in a rural village in the east of the Netherlands and we are surrounded by dog owners. In fact, I think we may be one of the only villagers without a dog. Do we see dog poo everywhere around the village facilities? No. Guessing that is the advantage of living with a lot of open fields in the area…..and I for one am not sorry the daily scrape and wash ritual is no longer needed.
UPDATE 2020: This last bit is no longer true. The dog poo issue has spread its stinky tentacles to rural villages too. The streets here are also now littered with it.
Solutions on a postcard please……
