Having had yet another below par lunch at a local restaurant last weekend I thought I’d share some tips to get the most out of your dining out experience in the Netherlands.
I ordered a burger. It was cold in the middle. It was taken away with a ‘jeetje‘ uttered in surprise. It came back and I sat and ate some of the burger whilst my family watched as they were already lang klaar with their food. Then I discovered this burger wasn’t exactly steaming hot either.
In short, eating out in the Netherlands is hit and miss – like elsewhere- but here are eight tips that may help.
1. Don’t Ask to Sit in a Quiet Part of the Restaurant
This is a selfish request so please don’t make it. It requires the waiting staff to walk further than strictly necessary to serve you.
Sit with the crowd and enjoy your meal.
In fact, most of the Dutch clientele think it is gezellig to seat themselves at the table positioned 10 centimeters from yours, despite you being the only customers in the restaurant. Squeezing past each other’s chairs to visit the toilets is a kind of national pastime.
2. Expect to Take Your Time
Don’t expect to grab a quick meal and head off somewhere else. If you want quick, try McDonalds or Burger King (and even then you might be pushing your luck).
The ordering process, as well as the delivery times of your meal to your table is ‘relaxed’ in many Dutch eating establishments.
3. Get Your Drinks Order in Whilst you Can
You just never know when you will be able to attract your server’s attention again to get a second drink. People have died of thirst trying.
4. Enjoy the Overview
Don’t have high expectations that glasses and bottles will be cleared away as you empty them. That is needless extra work for the serving staff.
Relish the challenge of creatively rearranging your table at every course to ensure you can fit your food on the table.
Think about stacking high, as well as across the table, and don’t be afraid to extend to the Dutch group’s table next to you – they wanted your company after all.
Look on the bright side – you can easily keep track of your alcohol consumption this way.
5. Two Fingers to the Two Finger Rule
When you order a beer from the tap, your glass will comprise 2/3 foam and 1/3 beer. Not the other way around.
6. Be Sure to Let the Staff Know if Your Meal is Cold or Under-cooked
If you are not happy with the temperature of your meal, or the degree to which it is cooked, start trying to attract your waiter to let them know.
They will gladly (read: with rolling eyes) take your plate back to the kitchen to deal with the offending item by blasting it in the microwave and then returning it to you on the same plate that was taken away from you 15 minutes previously.
Yes, your salad will also have been nuked.
7. Use Your Feet to Get the Bill
You may notice that most Dutch customers get up from their tables and make their way to the till at the end of the meal; this is because they know. They know there is no point sitting and waiting and trying to get a waiter’s attention to get the bill.
And in any case, if you are lucky enough to attract enough attention to ask for the bill, this is just step one of three.
Getting the bill to your table is trickier than asking for it. And then getting your money or card processed is even harder. You could be there hours, by which time it is time for your next meal.
We actually gave up once and just left the restaurant. We asked. She walked away. We asked again. She walked away. And then, fifteen minutes after asking a second time, we noticed all the staff huddled together on a smoke break. So we left. Bite me.
8. Leave a Tip
Yes, the service may have been slow, your table a mess throughout the entire meal and you had to use your feet to get the bill paid, but you are still expected to leave a tip for your waiter or waitress. They were in the restaurant whilst you ate weren’t they?
Last Words
Of course, there are actually hundreds of great places to eat in the Netherlands, where service excels and the food is scrumptious. There’s a place to suit for every budget – from your local snack bar to top notch Michelin star restaurants such as De Librije.
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