Before I moved to the Netherlands in 2000 I drove a car on the roads of Britain. Quite frequently if the truth be known. Prior to my overseas move I hadn’t really thought about driving whilst living in the Netherlands. More accurately I hadn’t given it any thought at all. It developed into a fear I needed to overcome.
Driving on the Wrong Side of the Road
When I arrived in the Netherlands I thought,
“Ok, they drive on the wrong side of the road, whilst sitting on the wrong side of the car.”
Now of course, before I moved, I did realise that. It wasn’t a surprise. For some reason the whole of Europe drives on the wrong side of the road. (Of course I am joking, the Brits are the odd ones out. In so many ways).
Having been confronted visually with this reality, my next thought wasn’t,
“Right, screw that, I’m not driving here at all if they can’t drive on the correct side of the road.”
But that is in fact exactly what happened. I just didn’t drive. When I moved to the Netherlands  I made a mountain out of the fact that everything was on the other side. The not-driving thing then became a huge irrational fear of driving.
Relationship With Driving
Driving has never been a love in my life, more a handy skill to have and a practical way of getting from A to B.
My driving career didn’t get off to a great start (the words “Tesco car park” and “bollard” are all you are getting). I passed my test at the second attempt when I was a university student. After this I drove regularly, without incident, for many years.
Fast forward to 2000. After this, for years, I drove maybe once a year: notable trips being once in the USA so I could say I had driven on Route 66, and once in Denmark.
Practical Reasons to Overcome a Fear of Driving
With three children getting out and about without my husband chauffeuring us became tricky to say the least.
I wanted to be able to take them places in the school vacations, and know that if I need to get to the doctor quickly I could throw them all in the car and get there without hassle.
I had enough logical and practical reasons to get driving.
Self-Confidence
However, to feel confident enough to drive with my three kids in the back of the car I needed to feel confident about driving in general. I needed to have built up driving experience to gain that confidence.
With little practical application over the years that just wasn’t the case.
I wanted another experienced driver in the car with me, but not my kids who are not only a distraction, to say the least, but also extremely precious cargo.
The answer? A professional.
Driving Lessons to Help With Fear of Driving
Twelve years after my arrival in the Netherlands, I found someone local who specialised in driving lessons for those with a fear of driving. Of course, I took no action.
A year and a half later my husband presented me with a certificate for driving lessons for my birthday. The idea was to get me back on the road, full of confidence……
You can imagine my face unwrapping that!!
However, I did realise it was a good thing because, albeit it two months later, I took the important step of trying to face my fear of being behind a wheel on the Dutch roads.
In the hours leading up to a lesson, I tried to think of every and any reason why I couldn’t possibly go ahead with the lesson. I couldn’t have felt more nervous and stressed about it, even though the lesson the week before had gone okay. I got back home in one piece, as did the instructor and the car. Success in my book!
So did the lessons cure me of my fear once and for all?
Life Got in the Way
Did they hell. I took a fall down some stairs and the driving lessons faded into nothing.
Why Driving in the Netherlands Scared Me
After my lessons I was able to articulate exactly what it was that scared the crap out of me on the roads here:
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- Lots of roads are small. Narrow. Barely enough room to allow two horses to pass, let alone two modern day cars. My instructor disputed this, explaining that two cars can pass fine on most Dutch roads. Let’s just say that on that point wij zijn niet mee eens.
- Many of the roads which look like they are too small for two horses to pass run next to a body of water. You see where I am going with this I’m sure…..
- Dutch people drive very close to the car in front of them. During my second lesson I had such a case. My instructor told me to ignore him, and explained that he knew no better. How the hell did he get a driving licence then? She assured me that he hadn’t taken driving lessons with her.
- The roads are congested. At least in the Randstad – there are cars everywhere, all fighting for space on the road. That means traffic jams, stress and accidents. During one of my lessons a car reversed into us. I was stationary. Just backed on into us. Seriously.
- Drivers coming from the right on roads with no markings have priority. That means they can pull out right in front of you and are actually in the right. So you can either crawl along at a snail’s pace hoping no one hits you, or you can peg it down the road as fast as possible and hope you are out of the way by the time they pull out. The latter apparently is not the method approved by any qualified driving instructor.
- Many Dutch road users do not see a red traffic light as a sign to stop the car and wait.
- Not only do you have to watch out for other cars, you also have to check in seventeen directions at every crossing and roundabout to make sure there are no cyclists, pedestrians, electric wheelchairs or rambling groups that wish to cross the road. They all seem to have priority. However, when I am on a bike, in a rambling group (does walking around with my three boys qualify under this?) or just plain walking about I seem to have no priority at all.
Necessity Cured Fear in the End
In October 2018, my husband underwent surgery on his hand. It meant no driving for him for more than a month.
I got behind the wheel and did some driving. Minimal. Only vital, necessary short local journeys.
Once he was back behind the wheel I got back in the passenger seat.
In February 2019, he had surgery on his other hand. I again got back behind the wheel. And so far I am driving almost daily. Even with the kids in the car. Daring to go a little further each time.
I have limits: no motorways, and that applies double for the autobahn in Germany, no night time trips and no ferrying around of other people’s children. Not yet in any case.
And will I drive if we take a trip back to Britain in the car? No way, they drive on the wrong side of the road!
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